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6 Ways that Studying God (Theology) Outdoors Leads us to God Himself

I came across this article written by Pastor Ashley Denton on his blog Outdoor Leadership with Ashley Denton. Check it out.

6 Ways that Studying God (Theology) Outdoors Leads us to God Himself

by  on SEPTEMBER 18, 2012

1. WIND & RAIN ARE METAPHORS OF A BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW

I liken a biblical worldview to a fresh rain in the desert, or a warm Chinook wind in the dead of winter. Desert dwellers leap for joy when the monsoons finally arrive in August. And Coloradoans, like myself, sigh happily at the Chinook wind that blows down the east side of the Rocky Mountains at the end of winter.  They are both welcome and refreshing changes because they radically contrast the norm. In studying God’s Word consistently, we also discover that the Bible’s worldview radically contrasts the mainstream.

photo by Thomas Haines

2. A BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW CONTRASTS THE NORM

Like the contrast between bright snow and gray granite peaks, as I spend time with Jesus in the darkness of the morning, I am continually reminded that the Living Word of the biblical text is a drastic contrast to the regular diet of external worldly voices and internal doubts that I entertain everyday. So unless I decide that it’s a biblical worldview that I want, there are plenty of other fast-food ideas out there to get me by. But empty, dry, and cold they are.

3. THEOLOGY IS ASKING QUESTIONS

Theology |θēˈäləjē| is simply studying people’s questions about God and then seeking the answers to our questions in the Bible. The origin of the word, theology comes from: Greektheos (‘god’) logia (‘word’) denoting a study or interest in God. When I’m outdoors and free to look deeply into what God has made, I begin to wonder and ask questions.  As I study what God has made it leads me to God himself. And as I take seek answers to my questions by studying God’s Word, the Bible, I am drawn by my Heavenly Father beyond the ink on the page into the very presence of my Father whose inspired Words are written in that very ink.  That is what true theological inquiry should lead to, God himself:

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. -Romans 1:20

4. THE BIGGEST QUESTIONS HAVE CONCRETE ANSWERS

Why would I want to seek answers to my deepest questions in the bible?  Because it is reliable, historically accurate, and scientifically verifiable through the created order itself. It is full of eyewitness accounts, it is brutally honest about both mankind’s sin and his potential for glorifying God through his son Jesus Christ.  It has more archaeological evidence to support its validity than any other religious or non-religious book in the history of the world.

It is consistent from start to finish, it is full of prophecies that have come true, it explains fully who Jesus is, why he was born, why he died for mankind’s sin, how a person might receive salvation through faith in Jesus, and it offers very clear guidance on how a person can experience life to the fullest.  The Bible is the Word of God, and it will transform your life beginning the moment you put your full trust in Jesus Christ and commit your life to him.  In this sense, the words of the Bible are tested and found true through faith.

RELATED POST: Most Under-Estimated Benefit of Outdoor Ministry | Time for Evangelism

5. TIME IN CREATION HELPS US UNDERSTAND GOD’S NATURE

All of Creation and even cultures themselves have evidence of the design of God. The list of lessons Creation teaches us about God is endless, but let’s take just one quality of Creation as an example. Think about the concept of beauty.

BEAUTY IN CREATION

How do you know that something is beautiful? This question is impossible to test in a laboratory, but somehow every person can recognize beauty. When we look at the wide-open spaces of a majestic mountain scene, or we meditate on the splendor of a sunset on the horizon of a rolling sea, we know we are looking at beauty. In a Christian worldview, we believe God created the heavens and the earth, and everything he created was good and pleasing to him. It is beautiful. And the existence of beauty itself points to the God who designed beauty. And just like hunger pains point to the existence of food to satisfy our hunger, so beauty’s existence points to One who is ultimately beautiful—God himself.

6. CLARITY THROUGH CONTRASTS IN CREATION

Just as the creation inspires awe, by contrast, the degradation of the earth causes repulsion. When I walk by polluted streams full of human waste and discarded trash in developing countries, I am saddened by the ugliness of the scene, but even more grieved by the plight of the poor who cannot enjoy a safe and refreshing drink of water, which was God’s intention for creation.

The logical conclusion that leads from the existence of ugliness in the world does not point away from God, rather it points directly to him—the Creator of all beauty. What God creates is beautiful, and what our sin causes is destruction of that very beauty he intended.

RELATED POST: Outdoor Leadership as Mission | Where Outdoor Ministry is Going Today?

EXERCISES

  • How do you see evidence of God’s design in the beautiful landscapes you visit when you head outdoors?
  • In what ways do you see evidence of mankind’s sin destroying that very beauty God intended for the human race? What does this say about God? What does this say about mankind?
  • How does being a follower of Jesus Christ make you a restorer of beauty in God’s world?
  • How can you take a snapshot of the awe-inspiring beauty you see in a magnificent natural setting and go back to your cities with a renewed vision to restore God’s intended beauty in our relationships, schools, churches, and city as a whole?”
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The Journey 2013

I recently took a group of individuals from Advent Lutheran Church in Morgan Hill CA on a wilderness experience Journey. Here’s what their leader Casey Cross had to say…

“The Wilderness Journey ~ September Newsletter 2013

“The desert is a dangerous place. Nobody goes there unless they really have to…” These are  the words that begin countless Godly Play stories. These stories share the history of God’s people, where they came from, where they went, and most importantly how God met them wherever they were, guided them, protected them,and gave them a home. Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, the wilderness played a critical role in these stories of lost, wandering, and lonely people. It was through the wilderness that God spoke; whether through a burning bush or by the words of an angel near a rushing river. It is in the wilderness that these people of God shed their past and entered into a new way of life, fully reliant on the one true God.

Most of us have, literally or metaphorically, had wilderness experiences in our lives. We have felt lost and lonely. We have felt the drive to go out, away from everything we know, to begin again with a new start, a new perspective. The gift of keeping these wilderness experiences metaphorical is that no matter the depth of emotion you may feel, the rest is relatively controllable. You can distract yourself with food, conversation, and the stuff of life. But when you step over that boundary by actually, physically putting yourself in the wilderness, you have chosen another layer of vulnerability. You no longer have the safety of distraction, comfort of your bed, or control over surroundings. You are lost, alone, and in even greater likelihood than before, physical danger. Wild animals roam. Weather is unpredictable and uncontrollable. Bugs are everywhere. Dirt is everywhere. It’s a different world than the one we usually construct for ourselves. Yet, we are created for, and even by, this very same wilderness.

This last July, I brought a small but courageous group of five on a wilderness excursion, rightly called: The Journey: Personal Transformation in the Wilderness. This rite  of passage was developed by Pastor Joel Martyn for anyone 14 years old through adulthood. This experience is a three-fold process. The first stage is Severance. In this stage, participants reflect on where they have come from,what has brought them to the experience, and what they will need to sever themselves from in order to fully immerse themselves in the wilderness. Using the story of Jesus being led out into the wilderness after his baptism, we discussed and reflected on what it was we had to leave behind and what we brought with us to the experience. We were given time to sit alone and write out a list of all of those things. These lists ushered us into the second stage, Threshold, as we threw them into a low fire – a sign of our readiness to let go. From this point, after watching our paper turn to ash, we were led one-by-one to areas where we would spend the next two days and two nights in solitude with only water, prayer, and the Bible to sustain us.

This period of time was so intensely personal; it has been hard for me to find words to fully express what happened. I can say that I experienced what I had only previously read, straight from mystics of our religious history – The Word of God kept me full. In this time, the word “faith” took on a new meaning to me. Through the wilderness, God nourished my faith. Through the ups and downs, the points where I thought I reached my emotional and physical limits, the Spirit pushed me through, refining me with a new inner strength. At the end of this Threshold stage, when I found myself reaching a new limit of exhaustion and loneliness, I finally heard the call to return to camp. I said goodbye to this new, sacred space I had inhabited for the past 48 + hours, and trudged back down to camp.

We assembled back where we began, around the fire. After some discussion, we were invited into the third stage of our experience, Incorporation. When we felt ready, we stepped one-by-one over a line of fire where we were blessed in the name of the Trinity, into our new life. And finally, we feasted together. Fresh food filled our bellies. The joy of fellowship filled our hearts. We were new people, grounded in a new personal and spiritual strength, with no rush to be anywhere except right where we were, with each other.

No matter how different the wilderness experience may be for each individual; whether you join the next group on The Journey, or not, I know with a clarity I did not have before that it is in the wilderness places that God will find you. You will not be alone. You will be changed. Without wilderness experiences we lose sight of ourselves, we lose connection to the earth and each other, we forget our Creator, or God, who pulls us from the ashes of our past and re-purposes us for a greater future.

When have you been called, or even forced, into a wilderness experience? How did God meet you there?

If you do not feel that you have experienced the wilderness, what is keeping you from taking the steps necessary to enter The Journey? From what do you need to sever yourself in order to immerse yourself in The Journey God is calling you to enter?

If you are feeling lost in the wilderness now, what are the limits you have reached? How has the Spirit pulled you through, even when you couldn’t yourself? What do you need in order to cross the fire into incorporation?”—Casey Cross

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Benjamin Bushman

So I’ve been playing with the idea of producing short video posts on different survival techniques that people can use if needed while either lost in the wilderness or just for fun. I have a friend who has developed a quite comical persona which we aptly named “Benjamin Bushman” of whom you may be seeing soon. The Benjamin Bushman persona is one that can only be explained by experiencing the wonders which he can open our eyes to. So, look forward to some Benjamin Bushman educational survival videos found only here at, The Journey! And remember, you can always pop on over to our prayer request page and fill out that little form so we can pray for you. Blessings!

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Have a Prayer Request? We Are Here For You.

We recently added a new feature to this website, hoping that readers who have a prayer request would take the time to to fill out a little form and share with us your request so we can hold you up in prayer. We take prayer very seriously here at The Journey and trust that when Jesus tells us to pray, to ask, to seek, to commune with Him through prayer, great things can happen in our lives of faith and relationships. So, if you have a prayer concern or request no matter how small or large, we ask that you would click on the prayer request tab and let us pray for you. Your email address will not be shared or sold to anyone at anytime. Also, by filling out a prayer request you are actively requesting that the whole community of The Journey Face Book page pray as well. So a brief description of the request will be posted to facebook.com/thejourney1.0. If you would rather not have this happen just specify in the request. God bless.

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Daily Devotional’s to Help to Sustain The Journey

So after a few years of writing devotions for a group of people to receive everyday, I finally decided to gather those devotions together and put them into a book format called “Too Deep for Words: A Daily Devotion” which is available on Kindle and will be available in print very soon. (Within the next 2 weeks) If you are willing to support this new emerging ministry all of the proceeds go to The Journey. I also ask that if you are not willing to purchase the devotionals or are unable to that you would please keep this ministry in prayer. We will take any kind of support we can get. God bless.

Ebook Cover

TDFW 2 cover

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Providing

It wasn’t until I was 24 years old, and an intern pastor in Osseo Wisconsin that I began to truly understand what it means to harvest your own food, to provide for your family, friends and to have a healthy reverence for nature and the outdoors. I learned quickly the benefits and emotional struggle that comes from being a hunter/gatherer in this day and age where all one has to do to get protein is to go to the grocery store and buy a rump roast.

There is a surreal sense of limbo for me when I am out in the field. I experience a unique transformation from husband, dad, pastor, friend, to provider. It’s a strange and amazing transformation of role. To go from spiritual caregiver to provider at first had it’s emotional struggles, but I realized that providing food in the form of unadulterated protein and organic flora for my family and friends to share not only saved me some money, but it also gave me a great sense of accomplishment. The role of provider is one that I now wear proudly.

Osseo is a very small town in Wisconsin, to become accepted into the community and culture is no easy feat. I was the new guy in town, everyone knew it, and to make things worse, in their eyes, I was from California. The land of movies, make believe, and in their words, “hippy surfers.” I did in fact surf, but I gently explained to them that I was not a hippy (whatever that means). I could see that I was going to have a hard time proving my worthiness. I felt like an explorer, facing a tribes rite of passage to gain acceptance. This is indeed what I had to experience before they would acknowledge me as one of their own. As in most rural areas, hunting is a culture, a way of life. The contrast between my upbringing in a city of plenty and this outdoor journey into manhood would awaken my soul.

If you have had any exposure to the Midwest, you know that to become a man, a boy has to kill a deer. The process that these 12 year old boys had to go through with their fathers looking over their shoulders, was nothing short of miraculous! Five weeks of hunter’s safety class where we were grilled constantly about hunting, fishing, trapping, shooting, safety, ethics, good shots vs. bad shots, tracking, trailing, this and that, that and this, all leading up to a final exam. To pass that exam was paramount to every 12 year old boy in that class and to their fathers. To not pass the test meant not getting their first deer and becoming man, and to possibly have to live up to the ridicule of their peers.

I had to kill a deer…..it was the only way for me to be inoculated into the community. It made me uneasy. Hesitant. I had never hurt an animal let alone take it’s life. This was difficult for me. Out of respect for the community and the culture of the town added to my personal journey, I took up the challenge. And like I handle all challenges, I did it with passion and intensity with the willingness to learn all that I could so that I could make the best possible shot to kill the deer as fast as possible.

I killed my first deer that November…It was an intense experience. It was one wrought with emotion. I was happy that I had been successfull and that I was able to provide for my family, yet I was sad that I had taken a life. I cried beside that 11 point white tail buck. I thanked him and I thanked God for the life that was given. For the meat it would provide. I respected the animal. It’s burned deeply into my psyche. I was granted acceptance from the community and was forever changed. I had been blooded. Marked with blood on my face that symbolized the fact that I had shot and killed my own food. That I was accepted. I was a man.

With every subsequent hunt I feel a twinge with strong memories of that day.

My wife and I ate that deer in it’s entirety over the next year. I tanned the hide for leather, and used the meat for food. From that experience I realized that the meat I buy in the store has been killed by a person. And while that is good and all, I decided that I wanted to be the one “harvesting” my food from then on.

Being a provider is now a part of my identity. I have two small boys and a wife that I pass these skills onto and provide for. Providing doesn’t mean only shooting animals, it also means identifying and foraging for wild plants that are healthy and nutritious. I find joy in being able to provide and in practicing those skills so I can be a better provider. I like the idea that all a person needs to survive and live a healthy life is all around us. We just need to open our eyes and find it all.

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Sacred Communion

The ancient ritual of the rite of passage is not a magical formula to fixing ones life. It just does not work that way. It’s a way in which we can get in touch with our inner selves, our God, and the demons that we struggle with. Psychologist Carl Jung called this side of ourselves the Shadow. The shadow side of ourself is the side that we are not so happy with. The shadow is “the thing a person has no wish to be.” (envy, jealousy, inappropriate sexual thoughts or feelings, lust, contempt, etc.) Carl Jung’s belief was that this darker side of ourself is not dangerous to ourselves or others. If we do not work on those issues that make up our shadow self those issues may manifest in unexpected and unanticipated ways and be projected onto others.

In essence The Journey is nothing but dust in the wind. The Journey is just a vehicle to help get you through the transition in your life. It’s just the structure through which your passage can be built, and your relationship with yourself and God can be strengthened. In this Journey God wants to bestow upon you His gifts, insights, blessings, healing and strength. When Jesus went through His trial of temptation in the wilderness, God was with Him. Upon completion of His rite of passage scripture says, “He was famished…and the angels came and waited upon Him.” Let me tell you, you will be hungry upon completion as well.

When secluded in the wilderness God will speak to you in many and various ways. Listen for Him in the cry of the hawk. See Him in trail of an ant. Feel Him in the wind across your body. Immerse yourself in the dirt of the earth. Embed yourself in the creation of our Lord which was declared Tov, that is, good! God wants to meet us in His creation. He wants to communicate with His children in ways that we have for too long been blind.

When you commune this closely with Christ, you can’t help but be drawn into Him and He into you. You would be unable to resist Him. Nothing else would matter but then and now. Time will stand still and the space in which you occupy will be occupied by the Spirit and the space will be sacred. The space needs to be respected for now it is Holy.

There’s a story of a young man who participated in The Journey who was experiencing this:

“I was sitting near the debris shelter that I had built to sleep in. I started a fire. A small fire that would keep me warm but not get out of control. I noticed the flies around me. There must have been millions of flies and they wouldn’t leave me alone. Normally I would get upset and try to either get away or kill them. But this time was different. I saw them as creation and they no longer bothered me. They crawled on me, but they became friends. I discovered a deep connection that I have with the smallest of creatures, and that is that we are both created by God.”–Human

Realizing our connectedness to God and God’s creation helps us to understand our own connectedness with those others who surround us in our daily lives. We begin to understand the connectedness that we have within ourselves. Meaning, that the Holy Spirit brings to us a connection within ourselves between mind, body and spirit. A wholeness of being.

Part of this communion with God alone in the wilderness is creating a sacred space. Whenever something important happened between humanity and God, in scripture, the Israelites would create an altar in that spot to give thanks to God and to show others that a deeply spiritually important event took place there. Moses created an altar to give thanks to God for helping Joshua defeat the Amalekites. Jacob created an altar to God after wrestling with God all night long in the wilderness. Joshua created an altar to God when the covenant was created. Peter, James and John wanted to create three altars at the transfiguration of Jesus to mark that occasion of vast importance.

The participant does the same thing because a deep inner transition is taking place as the participant communes with God…–The Journey

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The Journey Survival/Prayer Bracelet

What exactly is a survival/prayer bracelet? Well, it’s a bracelet that is made out of 550 para-cord that is designed to be easily deploy-able if you ever need cord in a survival situation. But that’s not all it is. It’s also designed to be used as a prayer device to focus your mind on whatever it is you might be praying about. Consider it a meditation tool, where as you tie each knot you say a prayer and you repeat that prayer until the bracelet is tied once again. Then you start over by unraveling, tying and praying…

I came across this design in my own search for a survival bracelet that was actually usable in emergency situations. It unravels in seconds rather than minutes. So I tied a bracelet and was wearing it until my sister got cancer and my family had to race down to see her. I found myself taking the bracelet off, unraveling it, tying it, unraveling, tying…and praying. I thought to myself, what a wonderful tool for prayer as it focused my very unfocused mind in prayer and helped me fix my thoughts on Jesus. So I thought I would share this with you. If you are interested in purchasing one of these prayer/survival tools feel free and please know that the funds received from these bracelets go to further the ministry efforts of The Journey. Just click on this sentence to order yours today. Shipping is free. God bless my friends! More color option soon…

Survival/Prayer Bracelet in Black and Drab Green

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The Lost Boys

“I was a part of a group of kids during my elementary years that would wander the oil fields of southern California fighting invisible monsters with sticks. We would spend our entire saturday doing this, and have a lot of fun. This group evolved over the years into something similar to the movie “Fight Club.” We would gather together as often as we could and we would fight each other as a way to not only test, but to embrace one another as brothers. Granted, we had no idea what we were doing but we felt that it was important to experience these ancient tribal warfare experiences. We were a lost group of boys, and girls, who didn’t have the rites of passage experience to help us discover the truth about who we were. The sad thing is that many of those same individuals are stuck in the same place that they have been for years because they just don’t know who they are as an adult.
The only culture that is really seeming to lack any sort of transformative, intentional and powerful rite of passage life event is that of the United States. All too often we see young people struggling through life not quite understanding who they are, so they put their identity into their stuff or become chameleons and take on whatever identities might be around them at the time. This is truly unfortunate in the lives of these young people. If our culture and society would just offer some sort of clarifying rite of passage many life problems could be avoided. Many young people go without this opportunity that they often feel stuck and not able to move on. So they begin to create their own rites of passage experience that usually ends up as a negative experience. Hazing, gang initiations, drug use, crime, the perpetual Bonnie and Clyde cycle that originally was meant to go somewhere but ended up in destruction.
Not to say that all self perpetuated rites of passage experiences go bad. There are many examples of healthy rite of passage experiences that were self taught. I am reminded of a young man who felt the “pull” to become a man. So he went on an adventure to prove to himself that he could handle anything that life threw at him. He backpacked his way through Asia figuring out who he was for one year. He came back a different, yet healthy man.
I don’t know what you, the reader, is going through in your life. I do know that everyone, across all borders and ethnicities have to experience life, and life more often than not throws crisis our direction. It could be that you have just lost a child. You can’t have children and want to move on. Your parents have passed away. You have lost your job or are making a career change. Maybe, a natural disaster has completely destroyed your life and you are trying to get back on your feet. Perhaps you’ve just been diagnosed with end stage cancer. Maybe your marriage has ended in disaster and betrayal. Transitions are a part of life and the rites of passage is what helps us to identify, mark in time, and acknowledge and move on. Can you find it within yourself to fight with the demons of your life crisis and move on?”—-The Journey

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Regarding Fear

There  is a wonderful story in scripture that describes fear in a way in which every person across every culture in the world can relate to. Let me tell you the story. Jesus got into a boat with his disciples and set off across the lake. Suddenly a great storm rose up on the lake battering the disciples with waves and wind and mighty tempest. So much so, that the disciples began to fear for their very lives. They were afraid. Fear began to gain a foothold in their minds. And Jesus their leader and friend. The go to man when things got scary and rough was asleep in the stern of the boat with his head on a pillow. Sleeping soundly without a wrinkle of worry on his face.

Matthew and Mark record their responses at the knowledge of Jesus being soundly asleep with  the question, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Matt. 4:38) their fear has a real foothold now. The don’t ask about the strength and power that Jesus has, “Teacher might I ask that you please make this nasty little storm calm? It’s most unpleasant.” Or about his knowledge, “Teacher by chance, have you noticed this particularly nasty storm around us?” Or even Jesus knowledge of past experiences, “Teacher, by chance, have you ever dealt with a storm of this magnitude before? If so, could you please teach us what to do in this circumstance?” No, they do the fearful thing thing and hold right to their sinful human nature and accuse Jesus of not caring about them or their lives. “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” A fearful exhortation. This is what fear does. It corrodes our confidence in Gods goodness. And it turns us into control freaks. We begin to demand of Jesus to “Do something about this storm!” Fear is the perceived loss of control in our lives. When all the world goes to pot we drastically reach out to take control over any aspect of our lives that we possibly can. We reach for control over our diets, how clean our car can be, and most times we try to control other people and the issues that they are experiencing.

What’s interesting to me as well is the fact that this storm occurred after the disciples had seen Jesus perform all sorts of miraculous wonders. Shouldn’t those accounts offer Jesus up some credibility in the eyes of the disciples? Fear makes us forget about the important things that we already know and have experienced. And Jesus responds to the disciples by telling the storm to be calm, be quiet. And the storm is miraculously gone. He then asks His disciples, “Why are you afraid. Do you still have no faith.” A question for us all. When we are fearful are we trusting that Jesus has our best interests in mind? Or are we slipping once again into the self centered-ness of sin? Jesus tells us that we need not fear over and over again in scripture. In His book Fearless Max Lucado lists out some scriptural references dealing with fear:

So don’t be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows. (Matt. 10:31 NCV)

Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven. (Matt. 9:2 NASB)

I tell you not to worry about everyday life–whether you have enough. (Matt. 6:25 NLT)

Don’t be afraid. Just believe, and your daughter will be well. (Luke 8:50 NCV)

Take courage. I am here. (Matt. 14:27 NLT)

Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. (Matt. 10:28)

Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. (Luke 12:32)

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. trust God, and trust also in me…I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. (John 14:1,3)

Don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27)

“Why are you frightened.” He asked. “Why are your hearts filled with doubt.” (Luke 24:38)

You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. (Matt. 24:6)

Jesus came and touched them and said, “Arise, and do not be afraid.” (Matt 17:7)

There are two sides to the coin of fear. Fear not only serves to distance us from God, it also serves as a healthy function in life. Fear is what keeps us from putting ourselves into danger. A small dose of fear will keep our children from running out into traffic. Fear is the appropriate reaction to a wolfs snarl, or being on the wrong end of a gun barrel. Fear itself is not a sin, but all too often, and in the case if the disciples in this story, it can lead to sin.

In the case of The Journey and what it has to offer a person, fear is something that will be experienced by most people. The threshold experience is when a person undergoes the challenge to fast and spend three days and nights alone in the wilderness.  Jesus spent forty days and nights in the wilderness dealing with the temptations that the devil was flinging to Him. You too shall be tempted. Tempted to not want to finish your quest. Or to eat. Or to not take seriously the matter at hand, and to want to settle with your old you.”

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